【為何我總吸引不到適合的伴侶？】
巴夏精選短片(8分18秒)：【為何我總吸引不到適合的伴侶？】Bashar027
影片摘自：2017巴夏傳訊會- The Triad Mind
購買網址：http://www.basharstore.com/the-triad-mind/
中文翻譯：Jimmy
【為何我總吸引不到適合的伴侶？】
Why I always cannot attract right people in relationship?
Q: Greetings, Bashar.
你好，巴夏。
Hi to you, good day.
你好。
Q: My first question is that, I’ve, through the course of my life always attracted unavailable slash married people, even though I am putting out the most available energy I can…
我的第一個問題是，在我人生的過程中，總是吸引到一些已死會(無法被追求)，斜線，已結婚(已死會/已結婚)的人，即便我都已經讓自己釋出「最容易追求到」的能量了…
We understand unavailable people and married people, what are slash people?
我們知道何謂「已死會」的人和「已結婚」的人，但什麼是「斜線」的人？
Q: Try to cram as many words as possible in there.
我試著盡可能把我要說的字詞塞成一句啦。
Cram, cram, cram. Alright.
塞，塞，塞成一句。好吧。
Q: Married people.
已婚人士嘛。
Yes, we understand.
是的，我們懂。
Q: And or Unavailable people.
以及，或，那些「已死會」的人。
Yes, yes. You didn’t have to actually explain that.
對，沒錯。 你不用真的解釋這個啦。
Q: Oh.
哦。
Did you realize that we were joking with you?
你沒發現我們剛才在開你玩笑嗎？
Q: Now I do.
有啊，我現在發現了。
Thank you.
謝謝。
And so?
那麼然後呢？
Q: And so I would like to know why I’m getting this back, when I’m putting the most available energy out.
所以我想知道，為什麼我會陷入這個迴圈，我一直在散發「最容易被追求」的能量啊。
Obviously you’re not.
很顯然地，你並沒有在散發那樣的能量。
What you put out is what you get back. (One of “The 5 Laws of Creation”)
你所散發出的，即是你會收到的。(五個不變的宇宙法則之一。第一個是：你永遠存在。)
Now, let me ask you a question if I may.
現在，讓我問你一個問題，如果你允許的話。
Q: Sure.
當然。
Why are you unavailable?
你為什麼讓自己處於「無法被追求」的狀態呢？
You may think you’re making yourself available, but clearly, you’re not, for some reason.
你也許覺得自己處在「可被追求」狀態，但很明顯地，你並沒有，因為某種原因。
And that doesn’t necessarily have to be even a negative reason.
而這並不一定是因為負面的原因。
Why are you unavailable? What is your definition of being in a relationship that you actually are afraid to experience, if you attract one?
你為何處於「無法被追求」狀態呢？假設你吸引到一位對象，你對「處於一種你實際上害怕去經驗的關係」的定義是什麼？
You may have a definition of a relationship that doesn’t serve you. You may think that certain things will happen that you actually don’t prefer to have happened, because you think they have to happen in a relationship.
在「關係」上，你或許有一種對你自己沒有幫助的定義。你可能覺得，你其實不希望會發生某些特定事物，因為你認為那是一種在「關係」中必需發生的事。
So maybe if you clarify your definition of a relationship, you will find out why you are actually saying are available, but giving off the vibe that you’re not.
所以，或許在你釐清「自己對關係的定義」之後，你會發現，為什麼你實際上所說處於「可被追求」，但身上卻散發著「你無法被追求」的振頻。
Q: Thank you.
謝謝你。
So what would that be? What you might be afraid might happen, If you did actually find yourself in a relationship that you are afraid to experience.
所以，那是怎麼產生的呢？什麼是你擔心會發生的可能情況，如果你真的發現自己處在一種「你害怕經歷的關係」當中的話。
Q: Rejection.
遭受拒絕。
Rejection.
遭受別人拒絕。
Therefore, you are attracting people who could never possibly in a sense reject you in the way you don’t prefer to be rejected, because, there is never really a chance for that.
因此，你就會不斷地吸引到那些人，就某種程度而言，他們可能從不會以「你不喜歡的方式」來拒絕你。因為，從不會有發生那樣的機會。
Right?
對吧？
Q: Correct.
對。
So, why are you afraid of rejection?
所以，你為什麼害怕被拒絕呢？
Q: Cause it hurts.
因為這讓我很受傷啊！
But why are you afraid of it would happen? What make you think that that’s a high probability?
但你為什麼會害怕這會發生呢？是什麼讓你覺得會發生那的可能性很高？
Q: Experience.
經驗吧。
Experience?
經驗？
So, you haven’t learned anything from your experience?
所以，你還沒有從經驗中獲得成長(改變)嗎？
Q: Yes, I have.
是的，我有。
Then you’re not the same person, aren’t you?
那你就不是之前的你了，對吧？
Q: No, I’m not.
沒錯，我不是了。
Then how can the same person be rejected, if you’re not that person anymore.
既然你不再是之前的你了，那麼，你為什麼還會被拒絕？
Q: Very good point.
這是很棒的觀察點。
Thank you very much, I sometimes makes them.
謝謝你，我三不五時會做出這些觀察。
Again, this comes with the understanding of “how things work”.
再次重申，這只是一種來自對「事物如何運作」的理解。
When you allow yourself to truly take a lesson to heart, you’ve changed yourself and you are literally not the same person.
當你允許自己由衷地記取教訓時，你已改變了自己，而不誇張地說，你不再是之前的你了(註：此內在改變從行為反應上可能一時還看不出來)。
So you can’t use really as a reason or excuse, the idea of what happened before, if you learned your lesson and change yourself to assume that it has to happen again.
所以，要是你真的獲得成長並改變自己，並認為那樣的事必定會發生的話，你就不會真的用先前的經驗作為理由或藉口。
Because even if in a sense it appeared to happen again, if you are not the same person, you’re not going to react the same way to it, which means it doesn’t matter whether it happens or not.
因為，既使基於某種原因，它再次發生了，如果你不再是之前的你了，你不會再用相同的方式去回應它，這也意味著，它發不發生並不重要。
This is making your state of being unconditional and not based on what someone else decide to do. You have to understand that, and I know this sounds like a paradox, because it is:
這讓「你所處的狀態」不因外在情況的改變而改變，也不基於他人的決定而動搖。你必須了解，這聽起來有點矛盾，因為它確實如此：
In order to attract someone that you care about and someone who cares for you , you have to attract someone as if they were a complete stranger, and wouldn’t know you at all.
為了吸引那些你在意的人和那些在乎你的人，你必須以「彷彿他們是完全的陌生人，根本不認識妳」的方式吸引他們，
And therefore you wouldn’t care with what they thought about you. Because it wouldn’t be relevant what they thought about you.
Because they’re complete stranger.
因此，你不會在意他們怎麼看待你的。因為「他們怎麼看待你」和你無關。
因為他們是完全的陌生人。
If some stranger came up on the street and says “I reject you!”
You will go “Well, you’re just crazy, because you didn’t even know me.”
要是街上有陌生人出現在你面前，對你說：「我拒絕你！」
你會覺得：「好吧，你瘋了，因為你根本不認識我。」
You understand?
你了解嗎？
Q: Yes.
是的。
You wouldn’t give a second thought, because it wouldn’t be relevant, it would make no sense.
你不會有另一種想法，因為那與你毫不相關，根本牛頭不對馬嘴。
So, when you can get to the same state as you would be in, in listening to other strangers might say, as a rejection, and you know it’s irrelevant, cause it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them.
所以，就如同剛剛拒絕的例子，當你進入這樣的狀態時，聽到其他陌生人說出拒絕你的話，你會知道這與你無關，因為它和你沒關係，而和他們有關係(他們的問題)。
Then, you can open yourself up to the idea of attracting what you need, because you know what doesn’t really matter in a sense what they choose to do that might be representative of their issue. Because you are clear and solid about the idea of who you prefer to be, regardless of what someone else might do.
然後，你就能夠敞開自己去吸引你需要吸引的(人事物)。因為你知道，就某種意義上，他們的選擇可能代表「他們要面對的課題」，那跟你沒關係。因為你清楚且堅定地知道，你喜歡自己成為什麼樣人、處於什麼樣的狀態，不論某人可能對你說些什麼。
And therefore the paradoxes is when you don’t care what someone else might think of you, you open the door to the people coming in, who will actually think highly of you.
因此，這聽似矛盾的真理在於：當你不在乎別人對你的看法時，你將對那些「走進你人生中真正重視你的人」敞開大門。
Q: Wow.
哇！
Is this helping?
這對你有幫助嗎？
Q: Very much so.
相當多。
Alright.
好的。
Q: Okay, my next question is, I’m not very passionate about anything.
好的，我的下一個問題是，我對任何事物都不大有熱忱。
Well, that’s because you been spending time rejecting yourself.
嗯，那是因為你花太多時間在拒絕你自己。
How can you be passionate about a person, who rejects themselves?
你如何能對於一個拒絕自己的人有熱忱？
When you stop rejecting yourself, you would see how passionate you can be about yourself and about the life that unfolds from you.
當你停止拒絕自己之時，你會發現，該如何嶄露你的人生，你是多麼地充滿熱忱。
One thing is connected to the other.
事物是彼此環環相扣的。
Q: Hm…
嗯….
Q: My final.. My final question have to be is, people have always told me that I’m otherworldly in my thinking and I’ve always felt like an outsider looking in.
我的最後一個問題是，人們常說我在思維上有點超脫凡塵，而我總像個局外人在往裡面看一般。
Oh, Gee me too.
喔天啊，我也是欸。
That’s alright.
這沒有關係。
First of all, obviously, there are many outsiders looking in.
The entire gathering is outsiders looking in, and allowing the in to become the outside and the outside to become the inside. The idea is you are not alone in this.
首先，很顯然，世上有很多在往裡面看的局外人。
就集體而言，是局外人在往內看，並讓局內的事變成局外的事；讓局外的事變成局內的事。這概念是：你並非隻身一人。
Most of you when you start waking up to the fact that you have other connections, start feeling those other connections very strongly, as if you’re from somewhere else.
當你們開始清醒於「發現自己具有其他連結」的真相時，就會開始感覺到自己與其他連結之間的強烈連繫，彷彿你是來自於其他地方一樣。
You’re from earth, but you’re connected to many things and you have a higher being that is ultra-dimensional and multi-universal.
你來自地球，但你和許多事物連結在一起。你擁有一種「極為多面向」和「多元宇宙」的更高生命狀態。
So when you start paying attention to that, start picking up on that, because of what is typically the status quo on your planet by comparison. You gonna feel a little bit like an outsider, that’s okay.
Because ultimately those that are outside will become the inside.
所以，當你開始意識到這點時，你就會開始注意它們，因為在相互對照下，那正是你們星球上的典型現況。
你會覺得自己有點像個局外人，那沒問題。
因為，最終，那些局外人也會變成局內人。
Does that help?
這有幫助嗎？
Q: Yes, it does. Thank you very much.
是的，非常感謝你。
Just be yourself.
只要做你自己就好。
You really, really, just well-discovered that you are worthy, you are beautiful. There is nothing about yourself to reject, there is nothing to be afraid of, just open up your heart and be yourself.
你真的，真的會完全發現自己是有價值的、美麗動人的。並沒有任何 「你被拒絕」，沒有任何好怕的，只要打開心胸並做你自己。
And don’t base your state of being on what other people think.
In most cases, when anyone does something that is a rejection or type of an attack, it has really more to do with their issues than it does with yours.
並且，不要把自己所處(being)的狀態，建立在別人的想法上。
就大多數情況而言，當有人做了拒絕或攻擊他人的行為時，那真的與他們自己的人生課題較有關，而非與你的人生課題有關。
Because they are in denial, they are not willing to look at their own issues. They’re going to come and seek out someone that they can project out onto.
因為他們處在拒絕的狀態，他們不願意看待自己本身的問題。他們會找出「他們能投射反應在對方身上」的人。
You understand?
你明白嗎？
Q: Yes.
是的。
But you have to understand that it’s their issues. I’m not saying you don’t have your own issues of rejection. But, this is what you’re doing. You doing in that way by attracting people you can’t actually have, because you’re afraid of being rejected.
但你必須明白，那是他們自己的課題。我並不是說你沒有你自己的拒絕課題，但，這就是你在做的事。你以這樣的方式吸引那些你無法真正擁有伴侶關係的人，因為你害怕被拒絕。
But other people who do the rejection are doing it because they are also rejecting themselves. So, in a sense, by being afraid of being rejected, you are actually yourself rejecting the companions you could be attracting.
但是，其他做出「拒絕行為」的人，也在這樣做，因為他們也在拒絕自己。所以，在某種程度上來說，害怕被拒絕，實際上，你是在拒絕那些會被你吸引來的伴侶。
Q: Hmm…
嗯….
So you’re the one actually doing the rejection. See the differences?
所以說，實際上你就是在做那拒絕(而非在吸引)的人。你明白這差異了嗎？
Q: Greatly.
很明顯。
Alright.
好。
Take it to heart, don’t judge yourself for it. This is a lesson. It’s a process, it’s life. You’re doing fine. Relax!
牢記這點在心上，不要批判自己。這是一段獲得成長的經驗。這是一個過程，這就是人生。你做得很好。放輕鬆點！
Q: Thank you very much!
非常感謝你！
You’re very welcome.
不客氣。
