聽神談【人類社會「以無效的方式在運作」的觀察建言】
你們不僅是以一種無效的方式在做養育子女的工作,你們的整個生活方式都是如此(not just parenting you are doing with an ineffective model, but your whole way of living)。
尼爾:請你再解釋一下。
你們已彼此遠離對方。你們已分裂了你們的家庭,拆散了你們的小社區,而投向大城市。在這些大城市裡有更多的人,但較少有會把群體的責任視為自己責任之「部落」、族群或氏族的人。因此在功效上,你們沒有長者,沒有在需要幫助時身旁可訴求的長者。
更糟的是,你們不僅遠離了長者,你們更把他們推到一邊。把他們邊緣化。把他們的力量拿走。並甚至怨恨他們。
沒錯,你們社會中的某些成員甚至在怨恨他們周圍的年長者,聲稱他們以某種方式在吸社會的血,在要求依些使你們年輕人付不斷增加稅捐的權益。
尼爾:沒錯。有些社會學家就在預言將有世代戰爭,年輕人指責老年人要求越來越多,而貢獻越來越少。現在已經有許多老年公民了,等「戰後嬰兒潮」的那些人都開始年長,民眾的平均壽命會更長,問題會更嚴重。
然而,如果說你們的年長者沒有貢獻,那是因為你們沒有讓他們發揮貢獻。當他們正能夠對公司做出某些好貢獻時,你們卻強迫他們退休。當他們的參與正能夠為活動帶來某些意義時,你們卻迫使他們從有效、有意義的參與中退出。
你們的社會不僅在養育孩子方面,也在年長者至少有個立足點的政治方面、經濟方面,甚至在宗教方面,變成了一個「崇拜年輕、遣散老人」的社會。
你們的社會也變成了一種單數社會(singular society),而非多數社會。也就是說,一個由個體,而非由群體組成的社會(a society made up of individuals, rather than groups.)。
由於你們已把你們的社會個體化和年輕化,你們已失去了許多它的豐富性與資源。現在你們是既不豐富又無資源,有太多人生活在情感與心理的匱乏和耗盡中。
尼爾:那我又要再問:有沒有辦法可結束這種迴圈(惡性循環)?
首先,要能識別認清並承認這是事實。你們有非常多的人活在不承認這項事實的生活中。你們有太多的人,把本是如此的事實佯裝為根本不是這樣。你們在對自己說謊,你們不肯聽事實的真相,更不會說去傳播這事實。
這點也一樣,我們會在稍後談到高度演化生命(highly evolved beings)時再詳談,因為對事實真相這樣的否認,這樣的觀察失靈和不承認,並非一件小事。如果你們真想改變這情況,我希望你們願意允許自己聽我說。
說真相——平易又簡單的真相——的時刻已到來。你是否準備好正視它?
尼爾:我準備好了。所以我才會來向你求助。這正是我們這整部對談何以開始的原因。
真相常會讓人不舒服。只有那些「不想忽視真相的人」才不會不舒服。他們不但不會不舒服,而且會受到鼓舞和啟迪。
尼爾:對我來說,整個這三部曲一直都讓我受到鼓舞和啟迪。請繼續說下去。
我們有一些可令人鼓舞、感到樂觀的理由。我觀察到事情已經開始在改變。近幾年來在你們物種中,有越來越多人在強調社區的重要性,在建構廣泛式的家庭。你們也日漸尊崇長者,在他們的生活中建造意義與價值,並從他們生活中求取意義與價值。這是你們在一種極令人讚嘆的方向上,跨出了很大的一步。
所以,事情正在「急轉而上」。你們的文化似乎已採取那樣的步驟。現在,已開始前進了。
這些改變不可能在一夜間完成。你們無法一下子把它整個改變過來,例如,雖然你們養育孩子的方式,是產生你們目前許多觀念的肇因。然而,你們可以一步一步地改變你們的未來。讀這(與神對話)三部曲是其中的一步。
摘自《與神對話III》第1章
I mean it’s not just parenting you’re doing with an ineffective model, but your whole way of living.
Neale: Again, what do You mean?
You’ve moved away from each other. You’ve torn apart your families, disassembled your smaller communities in favor of huge cities. In these big cities there are more people, but fewer “tribes,” groups, or clans whose members see their responsibility as including responsibility for the whole. So, in effect, you have no elders. None at arm’s reach, in any event.
Worse than moving away from your elders, you’ve pushed them aside. Marginalized them. Taken their power away. And even resented them.
Yes, some members of your society are even resenting the seniors among you, claiming that they are somehow leeching on the system, demanding benefits that the young have to pay for with ever-increasing proportions of their income.
Neale: It’s true. Some sociologists are now predicting a generation war, with older people being blamed for requiring more and more, while contributing less and less. There are so many more older citizens now, what with the “baby boomers” moving into their senior years, and people living longer in general.
Yet if your elders aren’t contributing, it is because you have not allowed them to contribute. You have required them to retire from their jobs just when they could really do the company some good, and to retire from most active, meaningful participation in life, just when their participation could bring some sense to the proceedings.
Not just in parenting, but in politics, economics, and even in religion, where elders at least had a toehold, you have become a youth-worshipping, elder- dismissing society.
Yours has also become a singular society, rather than a plural one. That is, a society made up of individuals, rather than groups.
As you have both individualized and you then your society, you have lost much of its richness and resource. Now you are without both, with too many of you living in emotional and psychological poverty and depletion.
Neale: I’m going to ask you again, is there any way we can end this cycle?
First, recognize and acknowledge that it’s real. So many of you are living in denial. So many of you are pretending that what’s so is simply not so. You are lying to yourselves, and you do not want to hear the truth, much less tell it.
This, too, we’ll talk about again later, when we take that look at the civilizations of highly evolved beings, because this denial, this failure to observe and acknowledge what’s so, is not an insignificant thing. And if you truly want to change things, I hope you will just allow yourself to hear Me.
The time has come for truth telling, plain and simple. Are you ready?
Neale: I am. That’s why I came to You. That’s how this whole conversation began.
Truth is often uncomfortable. It is only comforting to those who do not wish to ignore it. Then, truth becomes not only comforting, but inspiring.
Neale: For me, this whole three-part dialogue has been inspiring. Please, go on.
There is some good reason to be upbeat, to feel optimistic. I observe that things have begun to change. There’s more emphasis among your species on creating community, and building extended families, than ever in recent years. And, more and more, you are honoring your elders, producing meaning and value in, and from, their lives. This is a big step in a wonderfully useful direction.
So things are “turning around.” Your culture seems to have taken that step. Now, it’s onward from there.
You cannot make these changes in one day. You cannot, for instance, change your whole way of parenting, which is how this current train of thought began, in one fell swoop. Yet you can change your future, step by step. Reading this book is one of those steps.